Happy Gay Superbowl Weekend everyone!! With only two more days to go until that annual clusterfuck of tearful speeches, pretty dresses, and Nicole Kidman’s forehead not moving. And with that comes everyone pretending to be the resident Oscar expert, and throwing forth completely inconsequential predictions on who will win. Ever the bandwagon jumper, I present my predictions for Oscars 2012. Now I should mention that I was particularly poor at seeing this year’s nominated films (um, I saw The Descendants). So take note that my picks are deep-fried in nepotism and contain zero actual knowledge. However, in my 18 year history of Oscar pools, I’ve only lost twice: last year because goddamn Tom Hooper robbed David Fincher of Best Director, and in 1998, when my own mother trumped me thanks to her unabashed affection for Robbing Private Ryan of an Oscar (also known as Shakespeare in Love). And so, here goes my predictions, both traditional and non-traditional, for Oscars 2012.
Best Picture: Will Win: The Artist While I maintain my stance that the only reason people think this is good is because not talking is this year’s novelty, almost everyone I know who has seen it absolutely adores it. And it’s won all the prizes leading up to the big night. To lose now would be an upset of Brokeback Mountain proportions.
Should win: The Descendants
The movie stands no chance of success on Sunday night, but Alexander Payne’s films just keep getting better and better. Sadly, the film’s buzz peaked too early, something that often befalls George Clooney movies (see: Up in the Air; Goodnight and Good Luck), but the emotional payoff of the film, so brilliantly handled by its direction, screenplay, and acting, make it the most deserving of the year. At least from what I saw.
Robbed of a Nomination: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2
C’mon, people. The movie was the perfect culmination of a beloved series, and featured graceful performances by everyone involved. The very fact that David Yates was able to so deftly handle such a hotly anticipated film, fantastic visual effects, and a cast including Every Important British Actor Ever (minus Mirren, Firth and Winslet), is a feat in itself. The fact that he turned it into such a brilliant finale, was just the icing on the cake.
Most Likely to Go Crazy Upon Losing: Harvey Weinstein. If The Artist actually loses, fully expect that the infamous blowhard will turn into Godzilla and eat George Clooney.